I believe in using clichés. When we say something is clichéd, we generally use it in a dismissive tone. like, oh that theme is so clichéd, let's try another one. but to me, clichés are interesting, even fascinating because while they are seriously over-used, there is a lot of truth in clichés, which is why, despite them being clichéd, people still use them over and over again. it's a vicious cycle. 

So the cliché I will employ for this blog post is: in the blink of an eye. As in, 2010 is over in the blink of an eye, and before we know it (another over-used phrase), we have stepped into a new year. Pastor Gerry, in his Watchnight message, mentioned that 2011 marks not just the beginning of a new year, but also a new decade. if you were to ask me, 2010 would have been the beginning of a new decade, but I guess it depends on how you count, whether you start from 1 or zero, but it doesn't really matter. it is significant nonetheless. and i was just so excited when he said 'new decade' because personally it will be quite a significant next 10 years, gazing into what little I can see of the crystal ball. I was in fact, so excited, that I posted on facebook that I was very excited for the next decade, eliciting a response from jia hao as to why I was excited, seeing that we had to start working in this decade. It was a good question. I was excited, but I had no idea why. so before I replied him, I thought of why I was excited and it occurred to me that the next decade is going to be an extremely pivotal one in my life. It is going to be a time when I will determine who I am and who I want to be, when I will be making some of the biggest decisions in my life: choosing a university, embarking on a career, getting married...

And then it occurred to me again how ill-prepared I am to make all these decisions on my own and how much of it is going to be gut feeling rather than rational reasoning with the benefit of hindsight. And then I got worried. And then I thought, what the heck. that's what makes life fun. the whole uncertainty of it, the whole feeling your way and taking a risk and hoping things turn out well and making the best of a bad situation and enjoying every moment of a good circumstance. no need to get all worked up or anxious about it, no need to sink into emo-ness or live like it's your last day and indulge in hard living. that's the beauty of life and life in Christ. that every day is in His hands, and there is no need for wild living when you 'live for the moment', because in Christ I don't live for the moment, I live for eternity. and suddenly getting old and entering my 20s doesn't seem so daunting anymore. the definition of 'right choices' changes, no more living to get rich and be 'successful' in my career wanting a car, a house, a dog and 2.5kids anymore. no more of what the world deems 'successful', but living on the edge trusting that God will provide and He will satisfy. and even as I'm heading into a period of massive transition, it's no longer scary, but exhilarating. like riding a roller coaster, knowing that since the seat belts are on, you can enjoy the thrill of the ride without fearing that you might drop out and die. because God is that seat belt, and so long as I am on that roller coaster ride, safely strapped, I can make countless loops and still come out safe and well. living without God, to me, is like riding a roller coaster with no seat belt. you're hanging on for dear life because you fear when you might fall off, you shift your weight to counter the twists and turns of the roller coaster, when it is heading for the top you worry that you will fall off after the summit, when it turns you upside down, you just might fall off and die. 

so as a new year, and a new decade dawns upon me, and as my 21st birthday is coming in 3 weeks (an important date, so i'm told, but not much difference in reality), I have begun to start thinking seriously about what I want to achieve in the next 10 years and I so happened to chance upon this article on CNN for iPad where this woman was interviewed about her new year's resolutions and how, instead of making resolutions, she had a list of 30 things to do before 30, and it included things like falling in love, jump out of an aeroplane, write a book and record a song, among others. I thought it was a brilliant idea and since I'm entering my 20s, I am attempting to compile my own list although I haven't finalised it yet. so many exciting things are going to happen in the next 10 years and I can feel it, the same feeling you get just as you are sitting in a roller coaster car before it moves off. 

I would apologise for my unbridled optimism. after all, why in the world do I think I'm going to lead an amazing life when bad things always happen, no matter what? why should I be happy for myself when there's so much suffering in the world, what with famine and war and natural disasters, shouldn't I be more mellow and empathetic for my fellow man and do something about the world instead of enjoying my life and living like nothing else in the world matters but me? I would apologise, but that's just stupid. we live in such a cynical world that we almost feel a social obligation to apologise for feeling happy or optimistic about the future, or we brush off good things that happen to us as 'dumb luck' or saying 'it was nothing'. in this culture of false humility and this climate of skepticism, we hardly celebrate or pursue true happiness. we feel an obligation to think about this or that or to 'put others before ourselves', when I believe the only way we can help others is to first help ourselves. no point doing charitable works if it doesn't give you satisfaction. true purpose and meaning emanates from within, and is only found in God. true meaning in life does not come from doing things to find purpose. true meaning in life, for me, is found first in Christ, then manifested through good works, not the other way around. giving without getting is only going to lead to empty tanks and cynical individuals. So at the risk of sounding selfish and self-centered, I propose that the only way I can be happy is when God is happy and the only way God is happy is when I do the things, think the thoughts and say the words that He would want me to at the appropriate point of time. it is complete yielding and full surrender to God, letting Him direct me and obeying Him, knowing that He is my seat belt on this roller coaster ride of life.

So I guess one of my new year's resolutions is to learn to yield to God. when He tells me to buy the $1 tissue from the blind aunty at the interchange hawker centre, I should do it instead of shooing her away. when He randomly tells me to SMS someone a cheesy Bible verse, I will do it instead of brushing off that thought. when He tells me I should give my mum a hug every now I then, I will do it instead of delaying it to some other time. when He tells me to eat more broccoli instead of chicken chop, I will do it instead of thinking it's quite a ridiculous thought. when He tells me to delete a song from my iPod, I will do it instead of leaving it there and just press next when it's played on shuffle. when He tells me to walk out of a movie, I will do it instead of sinking deeper into the seat and worrying about the repurcussions. see the wonderful thing is that God is involved in every detail of my life and He is interested in me and what I do and He has an opinion on every thing that I do. well, Noah, if you let God do everything that where are you, won't you lose your individuality? I disagree, individuality assume disassociation from God, and technically individuality implies living a life that is separate from what others want or follow or practise. but practically, my individuality is that I want God's character and Christ-likeness in me. oh, you're beginning to sound like a fundamentalist, or a religious extremist. I'm not religious, I love Jesus.