i guess if i say bye bye a million times, i still can't let go. or if i say thank you a million times, i still can't express my appreciation and gratitude. or if i hug a million people, i still cannot comfort myself or others from my departure.

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

thank you God, thank you sec fours, thank you seniors, thank you juniors, thank you welfare, thank soo hwee, thank you sok shin, thank you chin meng, thank you melissa, thank you melly, thank you evelyn, thank you andrew, thank you jiayi, thank you nicole, thank you hansai, thank you hari, thank you kelly, thank you huiyin, thank you clinton, thank you boonkai, thank you daniel, thank you kayhowe, thank you everybody else.

thank you council.

investiture was extremely emotional today. in fact the most emotional ever. as much as sok shin said we (38th smexco) should not be the focus of this investiture, we still became the focalpoint in the end. instead of it being the happy occasion that it should have been, it was turned into a cryfest, a day of thank yous, all the bests, hugs and tears. the juniors are really attached to us i guess, and so are we to them.

never before has an investiture been so saddening and emotional. before the walk-in, we were walking around shaking each other's hands and saying thank you and good job done, and the sec twos started crying, and some of the sec fours threes were on the verge of tears. when it was finally time for us to walk in and handover the badges to the sec threes, i turned around and saw crystal tearing, which was kind of unexpected. i thought they should be happy that they are taking over and yet when i saw that, at the risk of sounding immodest, how much we have impacted our juniors over the time we were working with them, and how much they couldnt bear to see us go. as we were walking down the stage, we were all walking down with a heavy heart, like we were tied to the stage with a rubber band and we were trying to walk far away, trying to snap the rubber band, yet no one really wanted to.

it was really touching to have the juniors say that they really missed us and zhixin was even crying and asking if our batch could stay. nienyuan was asking if it were possible for us to retain. then i realised how much they looked up to us as their leaders. although i have to admit that there have been times when i really wanted to scold the juniors from head to toe, yet i cherish all the times we spent together. especially memorable for me was the family day camp, when we were cycling until our butts hurt that day. i'll never forget that amazing memory. it was actually only until then did i feel that i was really attached to my committee, because they have been an amazing bunch, absoulutely phenomenal.

council sucks. it's the only thing that can make me weep like a baby. chin meng just HAD to show us that video. many of us cried in the AVT. some of us teared and some of us sobbed. it was kind of shocking to see me, clinton and andrew, people who do not often show a shred of sadness, cry. it just came and couldnt go away. it was not because of the regurgitation of memories that caused me to cry, rather, it was the thought that these memories would not continue that caused me to cry, the fact that i had to detach myself from council that made me cry. i cannot say for sure about the rest, but i guess our reasons are somewhat similar.

there's really too much to say. this blog cannot record all my memories, my experiences and my lessons learnt during my time in council. many people say that they don't want to join council because it requires alot of time. yet, today as i stand here and look back, it was every second well spent.

if i can detach myself from council, then i most certainly cannot detach myself from welfare. i remember vividly the first day i was a welfarean. to the day i became the comm head. now, technically im an ex-welfarean. yet, once a welfarean, always a welfarean. let go? that's almost an impossibility. welfare gave me not just immense joy, but immense stress and grief as well. yet, it is with these experiences that make it impossible for me to let go. to all welfareans: i'll miss you guys TREMENDOUSLY. thank you for having me as your comm head. i was not the best comm head ever, i must admit. yet i thank you for everything. and not just the 38th welfare, but the 36th and 37th welfare that i was in. words cannot express how much i am missing you guys, or how hard it is to let go, or how much i love welfare. it doesnt matter. i just hope that you will do your best and not give in anything less than 100%. do me and soo hwee proud.

well, i guess im getting very longwinded here, it's just that i have too much to say, too much to be thankful for. yet, there's no point saying anymore, coz all im feeling and thinking right now cannot be expressed in words.

Thank You God for Council. You really gave me the best.