i guess i shall do it singapore style, a la kiasu. when in doubt, just do all. haha. o and a level mantra.

let's start with the emo part. today i found out that there have been alot of teenage deaths lately. i can point out a few high-profile examples: the virginia tech massacre is one, then of course there's the one in which a 14-year old girl died after drowning in a canal in bukit batok, and the one where two boys died after wandering too far, or thinking their swimming skills were too powerful for mother nature, and died tragically off the coast of Pasir Ris Beach. then there's the one about the VJ girl who died just metres from completing her 2.4km, she was from AHS, fyi. if u have no clue about what i am talking about, it either shows that you do not read the papers or watch the news, OR you've been living under a rock in the past three months. there's also another incident which i dont expect u to know, which is one girl, who is technically my junior from RSS (but i dont know her), died of liver cancer at the age of 13.

all these news about teenagers dying came fast and furious over the past three months, and i was just thinking about it on my way home (which is what you do when you're alone and taking a 1hr trip home). i always wondered what if i were in their shoes, what if i had died instead, and i think about how my family, in particular my mother, would be devastated, i think about how my funeral will be like, and who would attend, and i think about what heaven would be like, and whether my death will be out in the papers, and what the headlines would be. dont worry, im not suicidal or pro-death. sure, i think heaven is a MUCH better place than earth, but it's not time for me to meet my maker yet. it's just that, when u see so many of your own kind, people who listen to the same music, watch the same movies, and surf the same websites as you have their lives cut short so suddenly, so rudely interrupted, by some gross misfortune, you kind of imagine that it might happen to you. the story of the VJ girl i think, affected me the most. she used to be in harmonica in AH, and then she went to VJ. how devastated her parents must have been, when their bright, intelligent daughter, their own flesh and blood, died before them so suddenly. in the immediate weeks that followed that incident, i wondered if every PE day would be my last. stupid? not quite, these things get to you somehow.

i think sometimes it's just unfair that people like these have their lives cut short at such a young age, where they have not seen the world, have not lived up to their potential. the vtech victims probably suffered the gravest injustice. many of them were either on scholarships, or were top students, and they had so much going for them, only to be killed so unjustly by a madman. i do wonder why God allowed them to be taken so early, but i know He is always in control. life and death are all in His almighty hands.

i suppose in situations like these, the people who are most affected are the family members. especially the parents. all of a sudden, your healthy, talkative, hyperactive (tho not so in my case) child dies because of a stupid and unfair twist of fate. it's just a wound that can almost never heal.

haiz. oh well, go think about it. just pray that you will never have to face such a situation. i know if one of my frens die somehow due to some misadventure, i would really take it hard.

anw, i went to get a new mp4 today. coz the old one got spoilt and repairing it costs 20bucks while trading in my old one for an upgrade costs only 5bucks more. but i sort of regretted getting a new one coz the old one was the original that my dad had got for me, but i suppose the new one carries the 'soul' of the old one, huh? anw, im sure he'll approve of my changing it.

so i guess that's all about my life. tho i have thought of quite a crazy idea which i shall reveal the next time, in the meantime, i think i've ranted too long and this is getting boring, and i shall study for chem quiz tml. so, adios amigos.

thought of the day: 什么东西或事情能让你觉得无比幸福呢？