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Thanks
I give thanks
Not only for
What I have
But also for
What I will
Soon come
To find.

I give thanks
For trials
And tribulations
That have to
Be overcome.

I give thanks
For the test
That must
Be passed.

I give thanks
For happiness
And pain.
No matter the
Emotion - I
Give thanks
Just the same.

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

after six months, (coming close to seven months) of wallowing in the past, still hoping for a glorious return to my beloved alma mater, i guess it's time to move on. funny i should type this. i have moved on, physically, not emotionally of course. moving on, it's part of life, isn't it?

what prompted me to write this post? quite a number of things that happened over the course of the past week. indeed, this entire week i have been contemplating about my future. uni is in about three years time. and i don't want to spend four years (or even more) in a course that i do not like.

one of the things that evoked my potent thinking ability was the scholarship day announcements, so many of them up there i was wondering if i could ever get one? then i thought about going overseas to study. i sort of given them up a while back, but now once again i feel the urge to fly abroad and be a minority group that gets made fun of because of the colour of my skin in some random ang moh country.

another thing that got me thinking was today's special feature in the Straits Times' Saturday section. it was about 'lucky' 2007 grads. how they got offers within weeks of graduating, and how their starting pay is comparatively higher than the batch of 2001 or 2003. i did a bit of calculations, and i realised that i would not be a grad until 2015! that's freaking long! 8 years from now, how will it be like??! and now there're so many options: banking, finance, civil service, overseas postings? which ones do i want?

staring into the crystal ball, and what i see is murky. i know the general route i'll be taking. mug the mugging of my life for A Levels, hopefully graduate from RJC with straight As, go and 'serve the nation' for two years, come out, bum around for six months (hopefully go on a backpacking trip to France or sth), go to uni, study for another four years (or possibly more) and then start on my trek onwards in life. but the little details i am still unsure of. honestly speaking, i don't know what i want. im amazed at how ppl can tell me straight in the face that they intend to study law or medicine or science after As, but i honestly cannot tell them the same. i have friends who have even planned on which country to go to study their medicine degree! i cant say which uni i'll be going to (tho NUS seems like the prevalent option, unless a scholarship provider come knocking), i cant say which course i'll be taking or what career i intend to pursue. the future remains a big question mark for me. although i know God will ensure that i'm well taken care of.

i know some of the things that i DON'T WANT tho, and it helps quite a bit:

Studying in UK or Australia AND China.

although i dont think i can pass up an opportunity to go to London or Liverpool to study. or possibly Sydney, provided that there are no opportunities to America.

Studying in NTU

sorry, just never really liked it. change my mind?

Career in law, research, SAF, police, electronics, engineering, science

these are definite no-nos for me, ironic since im taking science stream now.

so many things, so i guess we need to look ahead into the future. friends from the past will still be there, but the future is where life is.

11:50 am