weekends have generally been very busy. immediately after bookout on fridays, i go down to tanjong pagar for life group, saturdays i'm usually found in church for youth in the afternoon and sundays i'm always in church bright and early and don't leave till late, before heading back to camp again. i love this busy lifestyle, it makes life meaningful and it gives me stuff to do during bookout.
i have been quite preoccupied with planning stuff for future events: Combined LG services and also march's Mcube. many things to do and think about, all while planning for LG discussions and growth, etc. it's so not easy being a youth leader. but it is, at the same time, fun and enriching. i only wish i had more time to do the unending list of stuff that needs to get done. the danger is that we work so hard that we don't spend enough time receiving, so i also wish i had more time to do TAWG.
Chinese New Year is coming soon, who couldn't tell with the gaudy decorations, the crazy gong xi gong xi techno remixes blaring in stores and the hideous clothes put up for sale in the department stores. the above may indicate that i detest CNY. i actually don't dislike the festival per se, but i really dislike the run up to the big day. CNY is definitely the biggest holiday in Singapore, even if for many people it has no particular meaning or merely an excuse to take a long weekend getaway. it is the only time in the whole year you see entire shopping centres and markets closed for two days at a stretch, where nearly all of Singapore goes on holiday. how crazy is that?
what i really dislike is the in-your-face run up to CNY, the bazaars and the music, the mad rush to buy clothes you don't need and don't feel like getting but get anyway coz it's just a perfect excuse to buy new clothes and something red. i even hate the food, not so much the way they taste, but the outrageous amounts of fat-laden, artery-clogging tarts and bak kwa put on display at every single house. i absolutely love these foods, and therein lies the problem: one needs a herculean demonstration of self-control to not eat them, something i do not have when it comes to CNY goodies, and i inevitably end up stuffing myself, gaining weight and feeling lousy about it all over again. oh the horror. then there's the socialising. sometimes someone who doesn't actually want to talk to you comes up and pretends to be social and you have to pretend to be social back and make some witty, degrading complaint about the army and how you can't wait to ORD. one bright spot about being in the army is that there's always a conversation topic when you're in the company of not-so-familiar family members. (everyone identifies with misery, even if they haven't gone through it themselves)
meanwhile, i'm still waiting for LSE to get back to me. it's been so long! oh would they please give me some kind of indication so i can plan my next step? IR and History, please please please! and also, yesterday i went for an MFA tea session. looks like i'm officially "in the club", it was so nice to go there and have the people recognise me and whisk me in without having to lug about goodie bags and queue to register. looking at all those students, many of whom are my Rafflesian juniors, i couldn't help thinking how i was in those shoes just a year ago, going for tea session after tea session, talk after talk, just to find out more information to apply for a scholarship. thank God that's all over. the talk made me feel so much more excited and confident about my choice. i think it will require a gargantuan shift in attitudes and expectations and lifestyle, but i pray that i can get through it.
going back to camp later, not before i have a hearty dinner at grandma's. January's over and February's coming, i can't wait for December, can smell it coming...
The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has annointed me to preach good news to the poor, for the prisoners proclaim freedom and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour...and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."
-Luke 4:18-19, 21
